Wanted: Member of Parliament

Wanted: Member of Parliament. Your primary job will be to manage the lives and well-being of the residents in a constituency. You are required to represent them in Parliament and contribute to making laws that will bring stability, wealth and safety of the people.

Interested applicants should possess ALL of the following requirements.

1.) Integrity and honesty

2.) A sense of pride and deep passion for Public Service

3.) Can empathize and have compassion with people from all walks of life

4.) Posses an ability to strive and contribute to the betterment of Singapore and Singaporeans

5.) Organizational and leadership qualities

6.) Great ability to handle multiple responsibilities and tasks

7.) Great ability to solve problems and take charge during crisis (which may never end)

8.) Ability to practice a great deal of diplomacy with world leaders to further Singapore interests

9.) At the prime of his/her life

10.) Has track record in getting things done. This person should have risen to the top and forefront of an (ideally) large organization

11.) Enough exposure in working with the people on the ground

12.) Has knowledge on how to control a Government

13.) Exceptional communication skills

14.) The willingness to put residents and country above family

15.) Steel running through his/her veins

All interested parties, please send in your resume to the elections department. You will be selected by a panel of an estimated 3 million interviewers. There is a possibility you will be ridiculed, attacked and perhaps have your entire family made fun of by the younger interviewers.

Do note that your career will have a 4 year life span, thereafter there is no guarantee of an extension of contract. You will not be thanked and your work, no matter how constructive, will go unnoticed, except every pay-day.

(This article was inspired by Uncle A. – thank you!)

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