The Madmonk writes again! About Punggol…

Hello bruders! Haven’t written in a while, thought i disappear already right!

 

We all know that there will be this big event happening soon. When we talk at the markets, we don’t have to talk about it…but we know what “the event” is. Everyone is excited, because everyone is promised something. No, not Chinese New Year. No, not the Budget announcements.

 

I’m talking about the By-Elections in Punggol lah…

 

For me, I don’t care who wins or loses – I don’t live in Punggol and I don’t have stakes in whatever political party. I only go to Punggol End with my girlfriend(s) at night to pak tor. I heard now they going to have horse-riding also. Real horse, lah what you thinking?

 

So yes erections. Yes, spelling is correct.That’s what got us into this mess in the first place right?

 

I’ve been listening to the rallies, hearing people talk – 50% say vote lightning, 50% say vote hammer. But hor, not say I wanna say, if you don’t know what the issues are, how to make choice right? This tikam could cost you a sheltered walkway you know?

(You want your estate to look like Hougang, also must know why right?)

 

National Issues eg. Minimum Wage

Personally, I say minimum wage is a good thing. It defends the poorest in society and helps the illiterate, the underprivileged and less able to at least be guaranteed a salary to survive. But some say that companies will shut down because they cannot keep up with costs? If true, then I say: so be it – a company exists not only to make money for its investors but by today’s standards, it also has a role in creating jobs. If your boss drives a Ferrari to work, staff must minimum drive Honda right? Your boss eat Wagu steak for lunch, he cannot possibly watch his staff eat roti-kaya right?

 

But hor, does that mean we must kancheong spider go and implement minimum wage?

 

We try an analogy: If you decide on getting a tattoo, do you just get it done after drinking too many Tiger beers, or do you have a think about it for weeks, maybe even months… where to do it, why you want to do it, what does it mean… etc, etc… A tattoo is permanent and so is minimum wage. Once implemented, you cannot withdraw the program. Once pregnant, cannot abort – must die die marry the policy.

 

(Got your attention riiiiiiight?)

Think about it lor: Today’s solutions may be tomorrow’s problems.

 

Hawker Centers

Some friends living in the area think there there is not enough hawker centres. I think it’s a fair argument, so I hope which ever politician takes control of Punggol, you might want to consider about affordable eating places for the residents. I know the new apartments there very nice, got terror kitchen all – but be realistic lah, how many Singaporeans actually cook at home?

 

The appearance of promises and politicians only at election time

This one must give chance lah. We spend so much time at work, and don’t go home till very late, how can you comprain that you do not see your elected representatives or opposition politicians. But I understand lah, if an MP comes up to you in the kopitiam asking to shake your hands, and you go and ask him for “uncle kopi peng, siu dai” – something is wrong. You don’t know him, he don’t know you… how to have love like that?

 

But then must be fair right, if your opposition peepur also don’t show up, also never see before…then please tell the bugger lah.

 

AIM Saga

This is too complicated for me to understand. Shoot here shoot there, shoot until i don’t know who is right and who is wrong. No comments.

 

Insults to our politicians

Got see or not? Desmond Lim kena whack for horrible Engrish.

 

(Kenneth kena photoshop bomb – quite funny lah haha)

 

But eh, you all got heart to do this kind of thing ah? You think be politician easy ah? Must everyday kena hantam from public you know, not voted in never get money some more!

You think gahmen really every day sit down in office shake leg ah? I challenge you – really, really – if you want, go and follow the Minister around for a few days, see if you want that kind of life. Every weekend burn, every night must spend with residents (and *ahem* Community Center staff), never see wife, never see chewren.

You really think that they sit down and think about how to make life horrible for Singaporeans? Everyday think about how to increase their own salary? No mah, you ask your civil servant friends: how they kena whack for not meeting KPIs, not meeting standards, not having better ideas on how to do things.

 

“I still want the PAP in control, but I want to teach them a lesson”

Better you say you eat stale oysters just to induce a “small diahorrea” to get MC? Once lao sai you cannot stop one know? My advice to opposition is this: build your team, you got power team, got many many Chen Show Maos, then you come and stand for election. You anyhow intro people, anyhow get into Parliament – in today’s climate, who is to say that your party won’t suddenly control government? Then what you want? Ask PAP to stay to help?

 

Anyway, I don’t care lah – I don’t stay there, got hawker centre, no hawker centre also none of my business. As long as whatever they do in Parliament don’t make my flat go down in price, don’t make me lose my job, don’t make me have to migrate can already.

About the author

madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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2 Comments

  • Interesting article but i dont like your rasputin pic. No different from putting hitler. Choose a better monk pic please. Thanks

  • Low thia kiang is hitler mah, so he is rasputin

    aniway minimum wage HURTS people, not businesses.

    In the USA, after they implemented minimum wage, the most vulnerable group – “African American, Uneducated Youths”.. from 20% unemployment rate become 50% unemployment rate. Simply because its too expensive to hire them. Howabout those that are abit slow? Lets say you can bring in only $0.50 an hour, but minimum wage is $1 an hour, will your boss still want you? You boss will want you if it is 0.49 an hour or less.

    So minimum wage have proven world wide to hurt the people it suppose to help most.

    Govt have no problem building hawker centres.. but will pple go? There is one in fernvale, and only a store survives. Maybe they should build first talk later

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