Christmas gift ideas for well-known Singaporean personalities

 

It’s that time of the year again where we buy nice gifts for nice people and unimportant gifts for unimportant people. If the spirit of giving has affected you too, here’s our list of stocking stuffers for some famous peeps for your consideration.

 

Riz Low – Speech and Drama Lessons at Julia Gabriel so she can finally pronouce “prints” as nature intended it.

 

Anonymous aka The Messiah – Pro bono legal advice. Because when they get caught, they are gonna need it.

 

Michael Fay – Erasable Magic Markers. Seriously, if he had these 20 years ago… think of all the trouble he could’ve avoided.

 

Serina Wee – A paper bag. We doubt that even the judge can handle her hotness.

 

MM Lee Kuan Yew – An iPhone because we’d really like to see him posting selfies and food pics on instagram!

 

Christopher Lee – Portable breathaliser. No we didn’t forget, seriously dude drinking, driving, hitting and running is not on.

 

Phua Chu Kang – Home perming kit. And caterpillar work boots – it’s about time he upgraded those yellow boots.

 

Defence Minister Teo Chee Hean – A sense of humour.**

 

Gilbert Goh (blogger and author of this article “Why local girls do not want our Singaporean men“] – A book and a trip overseas. We’re pretty sure he hasn’t had either.

 

Edmund Chen & Xiang Yun – A staycation at Marina Bay Sands. After all these years, must keep the romance alive, no? Shall even throw in a champagne bath and fancy dinner at a celebrichef restaurant.

 

Xia Xue – A MakeUNDER. It’s about damn time girl. You are a pretty girl and don’t need the bleach blonde hair, colour contacts, fake eyelashes and sparkly nails. And also, we are confiscating your access to Photoshop – stop fooling us, that is not your real chin!

 

Sun Ho – It’s Just Lunch dating service membership. So she can start over. Actually let’s throw in speech and drama lessons too. Maybe Julia Gabriel will give us a two-for-one deal?

 

Library Commando Guy – A commando beret so he doesn’t need to go plainclothes to prove something.

 

Changi Airport Girl – Her own Christmas Baubles.

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

 

**Defence Minister Teo does not find this joke funny

 

 

 

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madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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