10 things i’d like to do to the Chief Maintenance Officer at SMRT


10. Trap him/her in a lift for an hour

The lift is closed



9. Make him/her walk from Jurong East to Tanah Merah by rail track



8. Put headphones on him/her and play “Train is coming” jingle 24 hours for a week




7. Confiscate his/her collection of luxury cars




6. Foot the bill for all transport increases for the next year




5. Parade him/her around in an SMRT float during Chingay. And make it break down




4. Lock him/her at Bishan MRT in the tunnel alone at midnight during the 7th month

(For you fellas who don’t know your history, Bishan MRT was a large grave before it was a new town)



3. Print his/her face on urinals in the men’s toilet. Will help with the aiming



2. Lock him/her up with cable tie


1. Find him/her a new job – so that we can do ours on time


And in closing, we hope someone will do them a song like they have done so in London:



Recommended for you

        »  Socialising businesses in Singapore
        »  MCE: Let the crazy acronyms begin!
        »  So you’ve been fired. Now what?
        »  Much ado about Maruah
        »  The Devan Nair Institute





About the author


I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

View all posts

Share your thoughts!