Why Every Emo Millenial Kid Should Be Made to Wait Tables

We have a solution for sulking young people and their first world complaints – give them some tough love in the form of a restaurant job! Here’s why.

 1.     It’ll teach them how to handle difficult people

There’s nothing like the service industry to bring out the very worst in people. Woe-is-me types will have to face irate, unhappy, hungry and irritable people on a day-to-day basis. When you’re a waitress you learn to shake it off, develop thick skin or die.

2.     They learn problem-solving skills

The essence of service is “fixing the problem”. Hungry? Here’s food! Vegetarian? No problem! There’s a rat in your soup? Let me remove it right away! Instead of whingeing and whining about everything that’s wrong, our dear millenial kids will have to actually be part of the solution.

3.     They’ll never complain again

Just like stewardesses don’t give each other a hard time when they travel for leisure, waiters have a universal code. When you have to listen to complaining patrons all day, you never send your food back. Ever. Also, you know what the chefs do to the steak that comes back into the kitchen. (Hint: It’s gross.)

4.     One word: humility

Maybe, just maybe, being at the bottom of the food chain will knock these young punks off their pedestal of entitlement.

5.     They’ll learn to multi-task

Taking orders, picking up plates, being shouted at by the kitchen, serving drinks, greeting customers, wiping tables. All with a smile on your face and a clean, presentable uniform under your apron. Doing all this will teach the emo generation that multi-tasking does not equal having 6 Whatsapp conversations at one time.

6.     They’ll actually have to talk to people

In real life! Without emoticons!

7.     They’ll understand the what “low wages” mean

And when they actually make real money, they can reflect back on the low-waged days. And then consider that there are actually people who earn this salary permanently.

8.     There’s no time for them to be emo

Because work and exercise actually does help the production of endorphins – kicking the emo’ness out of them.

 

 

About the author

madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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