Ah Beng attempts movie review

 

You all know what is Ah Beng or not? I tell you, in Singapore, peepur stereotype – say Ah Beng career is selling illegal DVD, repair mobile phone, professional gambler…but hor, i tell you, times different liao. Ah Beng like me nowsadays want to do new age career… like movie review.

I try lah hor, see if zhun or not! If not zhun, give chan’ ah!

 

avatar

Avatar

Got this blue alien, tell you face damn funny, but damn chio. Give me all kind of fantasy. Anyway hor, later in the show got this pai-kah guy, cannot walk but got one kind of special machine can make him turn into alien. Ok lah, not say he really become alien… what happen is he will go inside this body. Aiyah dunno how to explain lah, damn steady can liao. So in the show, he saboh this person, saboh that person. End of the day he win the chio bu heart…but i tell you lah, you must watch out for this scene: instead of having sex, they can plug their hair into the brain of the other person. Lol…

 

 

titanic

Titanic

You know the Hokkien saying “Soon soon zay zoon”?  This couple here never soon soon zay zoon. Eh come on lah, you eat so big never hear of Titanic story meh? You know one right? Big boat, langga ice berg…drown, everybody die. The only best thing is got this girl rich la, chio la. But like all the rich girl, surely they got something not shiok, want to go airborne. So ok lah, got this hamsem boy save her life… then they hey-sho hey-sho in boat. Si beh romantic hor? But you don’t jealous… because after that he die, she grow old…at the end of the show she go airborne again. Life is fair.

 

 

 wolf

Wolf of Wall Street

Story of one tulan banker. Damn rich, damn buaya, damn nap-shot curry pok, stylo-milo, and steady pom pipi, but together with his friends, play too hard, greedy, want more money, end up kenna caught. His fat sidekick and him both got one scene laugh until can die.

 

 

 frozen

Frozen

Singaporean must learn this show – let it go. So hor, got two princess sisters. Older one got superhero special power, anything osso she can turn to ice. But got this kind of power you sure scared right? She scared, go into isolation, abandon family, become ice queen. Her mei mei damn sad. The mei mei almost dies because she kenna frozen by jie jie. And then jie jie discovers, the only way to save her is with love. She learns how to tahan her powers – control a bit here, control a bit there, aiyah…chewren story lah, won’t be too emo one.

 

vampire

Twilight

This show sibeh waste time lah. Ok lah, i mean this girl is quite chio lah… but the two guys chasing her NOT HUMAN LEH! Siao or not? If I the girl, I tell both to go to hell – one vampire, one werewolf, wah lau how to go stead like that? But girl is girl lah – already know the man no future one still must try. So at the end she cannot decide, both every time osso fight over her. Cannot one lah love triangle. The show end with her chosing the vampire, but not so easy one lah. Where got love triangle end so easily one? Sure got sequel one i tell you…

 

avengers

The Avengers

Got six superheroes. Fight everyday. Everyday got alien to fight. Everyday planet also in trouble. Everyday alien only attack America, dunno why. Boh liao lah… how old already still watch this kind of comic show?

 

 

 feather

Black Swan

Got one ballerina. Her mental stability boh ho sei, should go woodbridge type. She dance dance dance, dance until she thinks she’s a bird. Then, zi sa. zzzzzzzzz…….

 

gravity

Gravity

Got two astronauts. Those who dunno say its becos the girl niam niam niam so much the guy have to go outer space to escape her. Acherly they lose their spaceship and go floating around the universe. Scary man. And hor, the plus point of this show is that it is not 1D, not 2D, not even 4D…it is in 3D can or not?

 

Aiyah, i know already lah – I waste so much effort talk so much here at the end of the day you all also will go watch all the show one lah. Sometimes I don’t know what movie review is for also. Good review oso watch, bad oso watch. Boh liao.

 

 

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madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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