Common Singaporean complaints at the PM’s rally

 

Eh I don’t care what the PM say about what inclusive place lah, share of the country lah and i oso don’t care about build this project here, that building there. I tell you lah, Singaporean got other things to worry about. Actuary, Singaporeans got sibeh many things to comprain about and yesterday the PM tok about a few of the things, lai we explore:

 

Compraint #1: “Why your Civil Servants cover backside and tai chi?!”

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So PM tok about this fish ball stick drop on a road and all the civil servants say not their problem. All tai chi, all cover backside and all siam. (But hor, in the first place the fella who spot the fish ball stick, why she don’t just pick up and throw away ah?)

So now they’re going to setup simi “Municipal Services Office”, so that NEA can now “pao kar liao”.

 

Compraint #2: “Got Degree tua ki si boh?” (So you think a graduate degree is a big deal?)

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I tell you – this one good. For what pple keep looking at your paper qualifications after you’ve been working in a company for too long? As long as you don’t tok like me, and you can do your job… why should your salary and promotion be limited by your paper work? Why should that nerd who only know how to talk, dunno how to do, make better progression than you?

The next time someone says “you don’t study next time become road sweeper”, I swear i will slap them. Eh, you know in many countries road sweeper gets paid a lot one ok. You all Singaporeans better don’t look down.

 

Compraint #3: “Why money no enough?!”

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Actuary hor, dunno why PM tok so much about CPF here. I got no problem with CPF. I got no problem with minimum sum. I GOT PROBLEM WITH COST OF LIVING!

But ok lah, at least they say I can sell my house back to the HDB when I’ve finished paying my loan. Might as well, it’s not worth anything after lease is over… lol…

And their simi “Silver Support” oso not bad… sorry, dunno how to explain, you go and read the news yourself.

 

Compraint #4: “Why Jurong the birds don’t lay eggs?!”

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You say Jurong is ulu right? Neh mind. After they done making all the beautiful lakes lah, shopping mall lah – no need to go Orchard liao. No need to pay ERP and expensive parking in the city liao. Just need to deal with ah tiongs peeing at the MRT station only.

Oh, that one oso neh mind cause NEA pao ka liao right? lol…

 

Compraint #5 “Why you want to keep my CPF money?!”

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Don’t be silly lah – gahmen got so much money they still want your CPF for what? Minimum sum doesn’t mean you won’t see your money forever… just that you have to spend very slowly after you’re 65 years old, got no money and nobody wants to hire you because you lao kok kok oreidy. (there’s another policy MOM+NTUC wants to push about this, but that will be another topic)

And if you have a house, your Minimum Sum become half. That means you need to maintain only $77,500. Then when you’re 65, you can slowly take out this money and spend.

 

 

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madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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