My demands before GE 2016

The following has been submitted by Pang, 35, mattress tester

 

I am a social media addict and a fan of The Real Singapore. I am now of the belief that if we repeat over and over again on social media the displeasure we face on this small island, come 2016, it shall be solved.

 

By the command of my pink IC I make the following demands:

1. Abolish the ERP.  And abolish also the cashcard, it takes up too much space in my wallet.

2. True blue Singaporeans born to Singapore shall receive minimum wage of S$5000.

3. Cheap houses to buy. And expensive houses to sell.

4. Abolishment of CPF. I mean, who needs a nation of savers, we need to spend to have an economy isn’t it?

5. A car for everyone with a driving licence. Do you how shameful it is when even my jobless Johor friend can afford one and I have to take bus?

6. 5 minutes waiting time at all government medical facilities. We are first world ok, better act like one!

7. No more flood. We are not Noah and we build no arks, thou shall not flood!

8. Free education! Oh wait… it is already free… Damn, free tuition!

9. Indestructible public transport system. And make it free at the same time!

10. And of course with so many cars on the road, I refuse to experience traffic jams – you civil servants better think of a way!

Thank you,
Entitled Singaporean.
PS: Yes, it is satire…but does it sound any different from what you read on the internet?

 

 

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madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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