M. Ravi to contest for next GE, and he just might win

If you’re a bookie, we suggest you better be careful of this one – we think he may just topple Lee Hsien Loong and win Ang Mo Kio GRC. Here’s why:

 

  • He chose to run in PM Lee’s constituency because a quarter of his relatives are living there

true story

 

  • He plans to make learning of Malay, English, Mandarin and Tamil compulsory in schools. We are confident he’ll win the support of parents and students.

giphy-1

 

  • He has set aside $1m to spend on his campaign. He must have saved hard being a pro-bono lawyer

giphy-2

 

  • He has already dissociated himself from Roy Ngerng, when Roy published an article that name-dropped him

giphy-3

 

 

  • He intends to be the next Prime Minister

giphy-4

 

  • He thinks the Workers Party Low Thia Khiang and Sylvia Lim are “cow dung”. Maybe he’ll actually dare to speak against popular opinion in Parliament

hammer

 

  • He knows that there are vampires living in New York’s Empire State Building

Twilight_(film)_60

(They exist folks. They’re Real.)

 

  • He was from a generation of Samurais and once challenged Lee Kuan Yew to a fight

samurai

 

  • His buddies from a secret society called “Jalan Kayu 369” will ensure he’ll win

kayu

(Maybe they live here!)

 

  • His wisdom tells us that “Hot is cold, cold is hot, Yin is Yang, and I look young – that is why Hallelujah and Praise the Lord”

giphy-5

 

 

#TrueStory, sources below:

 

Recommended for you

        »  20 mins with: Glenn Ong and Chris Glaessel!
        »  Why taxi companies should encourage entrepreneurial drivers
        »  Why is the NTUC involved in the running of businesses?
        »  The journey in lifting wages of low waged workers
        »  Your rights at work – how do you unionise a company?

 

 

 

About the author

madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

View all posts

Share your thoughts!