The following article was submitted by “Pizza_Pizza”… who’s just checkin’ out the competition and clearly not on Tinder just for sex. (Writer didn’t want to disclose her real name cause she fears being stalked by serial rapists and child molesters)
1) The skinny, long-haired party animal, falsies, bandage dresses/bikini, high heels, clutch.
Usually seen at mink and tanjong beach club (is mink still around?), with skinny arm pose in every photo. with a bevy of similar-looking women as though they came out of a factory. Typical profile description: hashtags and instagram profiles with emoticons. and not much else because she’s as articulate as a monkey.
2) Slightly demented-looking, with nice body and a butterface (go google it).
Only applicable when drunk. the kind, as a friend described to me, whom you’ll hook up with and send her packing the next morning. Typical profile description: i’m hot like chilli, as fierce as a lioness, and i love a man who can keep up with me, and if you can’t handle me swipe left! i’m perfectly imperfect (actual line from a profile)!
She’s probably crazy.
3) The adventure-seeking, outdoorsy type.
Tanned, no make-up, with holiday pics of her diving, surfing, snorkeling, skydiving, paragliding, mountain climbing, diving… with well-timed photos of her jumping at some exotic locales. she’s also really spiritual and loves yoga. Typical profile description: living life to the fullest…. (insert cliche quote about how travelling feeds your soul and how you’re better than everybody else who doesn’t travel).
4) The frigid. large eyes, fair skin, with a smile so sweet she melts your cold heart.
She also loves jesus. and quotes from the bible. Typical profile description: “Swipe left if you’re looking for hookups.” (erm, Tinder is a hookup app? hello?)
5) The Emo
She would be looking into the distance with the eternity gaze. you can’t really see how she looks like when her profile pics look more like artistic shadows. tattooed with depressing quotes she’s probably going to regret in 10 years, when life gets a little better. Typical profile description: A line from a song from some shoegazing, post-rock band, or gothic poetry, that you will read just once then wonder how is it like to have sex with her. there are also knives in her profile pics. freaky.
6) Lesbians – no comment on this one as i’m straight. And straight folks don’t know anything about gay folks.
Yes…they exist on Tinder! And loads of them! Typical profile description: Ladyboy from Thailand now travelling in Singapore, give you love long time! Call me – 065 123.4567.
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