BREAKING: Police Says No Election Rally/Getai Show Mashups Allowed
In today’s GE2015 news that no one could make up even if they tried, the police said that no one is allowed to have getai performances “before, during and after” election rallies. But what if Low Thia Kiang wants to sing about non-political things at a getai show? Or the PAP wants to have a song-free press conference to unveil candidates at a getai show? Does that still count?
It’s possible that the police were concerned about overcrowded hospitals and ear injuries on a massive scale in the event that Han Hui Hui decides to speak at an election rally and weave a getai performance into her speech. In that case, it’s good to know the nation’s eardrums are safe.
No One Knows What The SDP Campaign Song Is Actually About
It’s a very er, musically themed day in GE news today: the Singapore Democratic Party has just released their campaign song, titled I Will Be The One. WHY IS DANNY THE DEMOCRACY BEAR NOT CROONING GENTLY TO PANDAS IN THIS MUSIC VIDEO? WHY? You guys missed a golden comedic opportunity, SDP. In case you were wondering, Chee Soon Juan co-wrote the song with Jufri Salim.
The song comes across as a weird hybrid of Christian music, slow-mo Michael Learns To Rock, and a distracted love song that is sometimes also a campaign message. No one knows what they were trying to achieve with this, and you can’t discuss it in the Youtube video comments because those have been disabled. (Yay, free speech!) Watch the video for yourself here.
DPM Teo Rules Out Time Travel, Reminds Nation To Vote for the Future
In other news, DPM Teo Chee Hean has disappointed armchair quantum physicists and Dr Who fans all over Singapore by ruling out the possibility that this GE, we may be voting for Singapore’s past instead of Singapore’s future. This clearly means that time travel is not a thing yet. This saddens me, because I really wanted to go back in time so that I could see 1965. You know, instead of seeing 1965 at the movie theatres.
PAP’s Sembawang GRC Team Revealed At Nursing Home, Super Grassroots Style
The PAP revealed their Sembawang candidates today – not in a coffee shop, but in a nursing home. You guys, I really think a press conference at a getai show is the next logical step for this heartland press conference theme. Just ask the police nicely and make sure you don’t sing at the press conference. Sure can! For those of you keeping track, the Sembawang team comprises Ong Ye Kung, who stood in Aljunied in GE 2011, Amrin Amin, Minister Khaw Boon Wan, Vikram Nair and Lim Wee Kiak.