Following a review looking at ways to encourage the “appropriate use” of the name and image of Mr Lee, MCCY laid out the following broad guidelines:
The name or image or likeness of Mr Lee Kuan Yew may be used for purposes of identifying with the nation, including on works of art or publications or items for charitable purposes, in accordance with law.
The name or image or likeness of Mr Lee Kuan Yew should be accorded dignity and respect.
The name or image or likeness of Mr Lee Kuan Yew should not be used for commercial exploitation or be assumed or taken to indicate any kind of official endorsement of products or services.
Gua gua gua…
Singaporeans from all walks of life have expressed confusion, frustration and disappointment at the MCCY’s new guidelines on the usage of the late Lee Kuan Yew’s name and image.
LKY FREEDOM LAKSA
Madam Tan Khoo Khoo had already registered the name of her hawker stall, LKY Laksa, when she found out about the guidelines. She was dismayed to learn that she would not be allowed to use LKY’s name. Madam Khoo Khoo said: “Har? But my laksa is very pedas, just like LKY last time when he asking for Merdeka. Why cannot?”
LKY PRESCHOOL OF POLITICAL SCIENCE
Eager to stay ahead of the pack in early childhood education, Ms. Eugenia Wai has founded a kindergarten that will prepare the next generation of Singaporeans for nation-building. The LKY Preschool of Political Science aims to introduce gifted toddlers to the thrilling world of political ideology, policymaking and pointless rally speeches which have no bearing on actual electoral performance. With her carefully curated syllabus, Ms. Wai hopes that she can help nurture a new generation of leaders from an early age.
Ms. Eugenia Wai revealed that she is a fan of the somewhat ill-conceived Graduate Mothers Scheme. Ms. Wai has designed a syllabus that is 50% fieldwork, 20% theory, and 30% handshaking, planting trees, and kissing babies. She feels that there is no need to have a higher proportion of coursework devoted to political ideology, as several political parties in Singapore still think that “give people a chance to vote” is a real political ideology. She plans to guide the first batch of students as they form the STD (Singaporean Toddler Democrats) political party for their final year project. Ms Wai has appealed to the MCCY for approval of her preschool name.
One entrepreneur, who prefers to be known only as Jackson, was furious to learn about the new guidelines. He said: “Eh, you know how many t-shirts, thumb drives and phone cases I print already? Now got this kukujiao guideline, I cannot sell my What Would LKY Do merchandise now. How to recuperate costs liddat?”
Jackson pointed out that his WWLKYD merchandise would help the nation identify with LKY and itself, and thus should not be banned. He added that asking yourself what LKY would do in any situation is the same as asking what Singapore would do, because Singapore is, in fact, Lee Kuan Yew.
Jackson has no immediate plans to appeal to the MCCY so that he can sell his WWLKYD merchandise. However, he is fully committed to complaining loudly and lengthily to all of his friends and several unwitting strangers about this unfair regulation at all opportune moments.
REALLY, YEW DON’T ANYHOW LKY AH
These are some of the registered business names that may be banned under the Yew Don’t Anyhow LKY guidelines:
Yew Want More Chicken Rice
Harry’s Orh Luak: The Heavenly Taste of Tanjong Pagar
LKY Ancestry Reports and DNA Testing
Lee, Kuan & Yew Solicitors
Yew and Me: Dating Agency for Post-grads
Harry’s Singapore River Cruise
LKY Merdeka Mee Siam (Mai Hum)
Don’t Anyhow Say School of Journalism
LKY Finishing School for Political Pandas
Kuan Yews Char Kway
Disclaimer: This anyhowly article is for entertainment only. Don’t say I never say, hor.