“In 1965, we were faced with Konfrontasi and the Vietnam War, and were at risk of social discord stemming from a legacy of racial conflict and pro-communism. Today, we have to guard ourselves against a more complex and diverse array of threats, from conventional threats to terrorism and cyber warfare.” –Minister Heng
We imagine Donald Trump might say…
“Konfrontasi?!?! sounds like something you’d eat for breakfast in Asia… and that’s what they probably did. Vietnam War? we all know what happened there. You know and I know, this man here knows, this lady here knows. Everybody knows. Today, we have ISIS. We will close our doors to all Muslims, kick all of them out! Eat our breakfast in peace. Who wants breakfast?”
“To support households amid current economic conditions, we will provide a one-off GST Voucher – Cash Special Payment of up to $200 for eligible GST Voucher – Cash recipients. In total, eligible households can receive up to $500 in GSTV – Cash in 2016.” – Minister Heng
We imagine Kenneth Jeyaratnam might have said…
*Cue plum-in-mouth English accent*
“I present to you, a one-off GST voucher. Those parties who find themselves eligible for it, can receive up to $500. So I don’t want to hear anymore complaints from anybody that they are unhappy with any of the policies.”
“Still, many firms found the range of incentive schemes and agencies confusing. Indeed, it is an alphabet soup, it is scheme-centric, not enterprise-centric. To be more enterprise-centric, we will launch the Business Grants Portal in the fourth quarter of this year.” –Minister Heng
We imagine Phua Chu Kang might have said…
“Aiya, you see ah, led me haxplain. all the cilber serpants ah, say they can give you this grant, that grant. Use all the different acrobat-cronyms, ABC, XYZ, PIC… machiam alphabet soup. You catch no ball la. We create one super pkl website for you la hor, go there find which grant is for you. Trust me, best in Singapore, JB and some say Batam. Don’t play play…”
Read the Full Budget 2016 here.
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