Top 5 Expat FAIL – The Greatest Hits

These dudes come here to live, work or study and then make complete asses of themselves. Culture shock, plain stupidity or victims of reverse racism? You decide.

 

1. Didier Moise Dominguez

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Dominguez had his face bashed in after a disagreement with his friendly neighbourhood prostitute. Why did he get beaten up by two pimps and two, ahem, girls? The Frenchman called 20-year-old Nur Azilah Ithnin to his apartment in Marina Bay (Read: Fancy) only to fight with her about  – wait for it – her not providing anal sex. Classy. Azilah called her pimp, who then brought three, two women and a man, friends along. The five, one of whom was high on Ice, pleaded guilty to grievous hurt.

 

2. Olivier Desbarres

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Annoyed with the construction next door? Do a Desbarres and let go a vitriolic tirade at the construction workers then get caught on tape and have it uploaded to YouTube.  The former senior Barclays Bank employee spews expletives like a proper crazy person in the minute-long recording, shouting: “I’m gonna you’re your f**king house down with your f**king people in it. You’re f**cking animals. Chinese f**cking animals.” After the video was posted Desbarres left Barclays, it is unclear whether he resigned or was fired. We sincerely hope it’s the latter.

 

3. Robert  James Springall, Robert Stephen Dahlberg and Nathan Robert Miller

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Having a big night out? Why not top it off by terrorising cab drivers and their passengers! That’s what these three friends did in Suntec City three years ago. The Briton, New Zealander and  Australian, respectively went on a drunken rampage. While Dahlberg  beat up two local men, Springall hijacked a taxi and then crashed it (no surprise), while Miller jump on the car bonnet and hit the cabby in the face.  Dahlberg and Springall jumped bail and fled Singapore. The only one to face the music, Miller served three weeks in jail.

 

4. Rob Monaco & Guy Wachs

Although far less serious than the others, Rob Monaco’s Facebook comment  raised the ire of local netizens  the American Banker called Singaporeans “chimpanzees at the local zoo”. The posting was in response to Singaporean Gary Tan’s complained that restaurant Wild Honey was favouring foreigners over locals on the eatery’s Facebook page. Restaurant owner Guy Wachs, responded to the accusation saying “we deeply regret your remark”, without addressing the customer’s concerns. Public Relations #Fail.

 

4. Michael Fay

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Ok to be fair this one was barely legal, but how can we forget this teenage Singapore American School student who got caught for vandalism in the 1990s? The 18-year-old was done in for spraypainting cars and stealing roadsigns  during a ten-day spree was caught and sentenced to six strokes of the cane. The case created international furore over a punishment that far outweighed the crime, and strained relations between Singapore and the US.  Fay is named in Time Magazines list, Top 10 Innocents Abroad. We hope he’s moved on.

 

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About the author

madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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