You’re Spending Too Much Time In the Office when…

1. You have struck up a friendship with the kindly cleaning auntie. She has a pet name for you. She bids you “Good night ah boy/girl” as she locks up.

2. The snack drawer of your desk is mistaken for a provision shop. You could probably earn a decent side income from selling keropok to your colleagues at 20% markup.

3. You have an excel sheet charting your keropok sales to colleagues.

Snack sales

4. You stick your office keys into the door of your house. This happens more often than you’d like to admit.

Big keys

5. The highlight of your day is deciding which flavour of cup noodles to cook for dinner. Oooh what’ll it be today? Creamy tom yam or laksa la mian?

instant noodles

6. Your taxi fares always kena midnight charge. Plus point: at least you never have trouble getting a cab.

Taxi

7. That said, you love your taxi rides, for you they are synonymous with deep blissful naps. Which is important since you barely sleep.

8. You have balaku (bump) on your head from hitting it on the cab window while in blissful taxi nap.

9. When friends invite you to after-work drinks, you show up to the bar at 11:30pm.

10. There are more than two pairs of shoes under your desk. One of them is a pair of fluffy, furry bedroom slippers.

11. You’ve considered joining the gym across the street from work, purely so you can use it to shower after all-nighters.

12. You vaguely recall sunshine. And strangely, you start to fear it.

burning_vampire_aaronsimmscompany

About the author

madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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