A response to Gilbert Goh’s Why Locals Girls Do Not Want Our Singaporean Men

We tried to make sense of this piece of “journalism” and ended up correcting most of it with red pen.

 

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GILBERT GOH: WHY LOCALS GIRLS DO NOT WANT OUR SINGAPOREAN MEN?

(First published on The “Real” Singapore, 27th of October 2013. Words in red italics are our own comments)

A few of my male friends are still single and though they are looking its (it’s) tough to see them getting hitched anytime soon. Could it be that they your circle of friends aren’t the best test group? #justsayin

Many of them are struggling with dead-end jobs and a few are daily-rated with no clear light at the end of the dark tunnel. Er, yah, see above.

The current foreign influx doesn’t help them one bit as wages get more depressed and competition for work getting worse. Wages are getting depressed?! Oh dear, we’d better put our salaries on Prozac! Damn foreign influx making our pay slips sad!

We are know by now that Singapore is a money country and no girl will date you if you can’t even afford to feed yourself well enough. OK so if you can feed yourself “slightly well”, you’ll get a “slightly well date”. The degrees of feeding yourself a) slightly well, b) moderately well, c) well enough and d) very well are exactly what a woman looks for when you ask her out. Deal with it Gilbert, its called reality.

They are obviously not well educated as most of them are eliminated by our meritocratic educational system which only allows 23% of our primary school cohort to enter university. Damn our meritocratic educational system! Let’s go bumiputra first! OR better yet, how bout we only reward good-looking students with good grades!?

Without any tertiary education, many of our males struggled and could can not make any headway in their career throughout their whole life. Whatever happened to hard work? Work smart, be honest and rise through the ranks! Upgrade yourself through lifelong learner programmes! There is ample opportunity for diploma holders and below to find work and get promotions.

The dating scene proves challenging for many single guys mainly because most of our women folks are better educated and thus they make better inroads in their career.  Unremarkably, considering your assertions so far, it is a HUGE generalisation and unfair to BOTH Singaporean women and men. Since when do all women have more successful careers than local men? A recent study of SGX listed companies showed that on  7.3% of board of directorships are held by women.Come on, Gilbert, get real.

Though some of our women do not mind dating a lesser-educated guy, our men still feel intimidated especially when the women come to pick them up in a car while out on a date. Strike Three against local men. They are intimidated by cars. Specifically, women who drive cars. SINGAPOREAN MEN ARE YOU GOING TO LET GILBERT GET AWAY WITH THIS?

The career trend seems to have reverse reversed much during the past decade as many of our women folks trod to work in their high heels and tough corporate jacket whereas our men struggle in dead-beat jobs such as cab driving and peddling insurance. Yes indeed, all corporate jobs are held by clumsy women “trodding” through offices in despicable high heels and blazers! HOW DARE THEY! Most corporations are devoid of men. As all the men drive cabs… Gilbert have you taken your meds?

Our single men desperate to set up a family decided to find a wife from the many millions of girls found in neighbouring third world countries as they could not relate well with our well-educated career-minded women. Foreign brides also do not demand much and are mostly domesticated in nature due to their upbringing. OH! He got a punch in for Non-Singaporean Asian women! Specifically anyone from Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia – that’s right neighbours! Your women are low-IQ, third-worlders. BONUS! You make good housewives, Nice one Gil, offending almost every group demographic possible here.

Our women on the other hand find solace in the tens of thousands of eligible ang mohs who are working in our midst right now. Not only are they well educated because of the lax educational entry system in their country but also they are much more better paid than our local guys due to their expat renumeration terms. HAHAHAHA Lax education system! OK we see the correlation. Local men aren’t educated because the Singapore education system is too difficult. So naturally, foreign men are only educated because the rest of the world has terrible schools! We totally get it. And by the way nice one, getting an insult in to Western men. We were worried your bigotry was reserved for Asians only!

Our women folks also find that ang mohs are better at making conversation maybe due to their mastery of the English language and they are also more gentlemanly in their behaviour. Er…. Gilbert you’ve clearly never been to Boat Quay on a Friday night.

More importantly, they provide a direct passport out of Singapore for our women folks when the time comes for them to relocate back to the guy’s country – if they ever get hitched. AHA! Next opinion piece by Gilby Baby, Women Who Marry Foreigners: True Intentions Revealed (they only want a passport).

More than 40% of our marriages last year has have a foreigner spouse in the matrimonial union and the trend seems to be rising as our government is taking in more foreigners.  OK this is the first bona fide fact you’ve included in this piece. And only three quarters of the way down – NICE!

Though its good news for our ageing singles, its unsure how inter-cultural marriages fare as many of them ended up in divorce.

Marriages from different nationalities tend to struggle more as there are obvious initial adjustment due to the difference in culture and behaviour of the couple. Follow up opinion piece by Gilbert Goh Number 2: The Secret To Never Divorcing – Marry Within Your Race!

Nevertheless, one silver lining coming out of our complicating dating scene is the obvious improvement in our birth rate as our people have more choices now to choose from when they are out looking for a spouse. Ahhh so all this willy nilly marrying outside our population is at least creating more babies. Whew! What a relief. Otherwise these over-qualified career women, deadbeat local men, smooth-talking cheaterbug ang mohs and homely don’t-know-better foreign women would be nothing but trouble! That was close, so glad you balanced the scales there!

The only problem is they are not choosing it from their own local pool! Oh, final blow… just when we thought….

Uniquely Singapore. And a generic STB slogan to nail the coffin in your final argument.WOW. Just wow.


Closing comments: Gilbert’s arguments are shallow, and bigoted, loosely-drawn conclusions are leapt to a little to often. The ability to fire up Microsoft Word does not make you an opinion writer. It is painful. Opinion pieces need to be measured, carefully argued. In this piece you insulted men & women, local & foreign – leaving literally no one to sympathise with your arguments, much less like you. You only spared Western women living in Singapore – not sure you are aware of their existence.

 

 

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madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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