The Singaporean Cheapskate’s Rulebook

 

Want to live life really cheap? Follow these simple rules and “huat”!

Rule #1 Cheap clothing: Always buy from HDB flea markets. Pay only $1 or less a piece. Or get free clothes on FB groups that swop or bless clothes for free

Rule #2 Cheap food: Eat at coffee shops and hawker centres. For example, the $1.80 chicken rice in Tampines, $2 fishball noodle and laksa chain Sanyuan, $0.70 buns, $3.50 minipot noodles, $3.50 hot plate sizzling meat with rice and soup… amongst other hawker centre favourites.

Rule #3 Cheap booze (for ladies): Go to clubs on ladies night, pay nothing.  Cheap booze (for men): Stay home and buy from Fairprice.

Rule #4 Cheap movies: take part in contests like Mooviespy, Incinemas, Safra Moviemax club. Or watch out for one of these promos from Cathay: http://www.cathaycineplexes.com.sg/promotion-listing.aspx

Rule #5 Cheap veggies and fruits: Buy exclusively from the wet market or from the clearance sections at supermarkets (these typically sell at half price, enjoy sushi discounts at times)

Rule #6 Cheap flowers: Buy from the wet market also. Buy the aunty a teh/kopi, be her regular customer, speak in Mandarin or a dialect, flatter her. You’ll be getting permanent discount.

Rule #7 Cheap transport: Wake up early, take the MRT and alight before 745am – free.

Rule #8 Cheap toiletries: Use simple (but good!) brands like Follow Me for re-bonded hair, 3 for $8+ Shokobutsu shower gel refills. Buy online for greater deals.

Rule #9 Cheap utilities: use energy-saving bulbs, get your free water saving kit from PUB. ( http://www.pub.gov.sg/quizsurvey/Pages/RequestforWaterSavingKit.aspx) Pay even less when GST rebates kick-in.

Rule #10 Cheap entertainment: Go to public swimming pools with water parks, water parks at shopping centres like SSC and IMM. Read free books at the library. Leech free Wifi at cafes. Fly kites, go for a run, go to the park and exercise. Pick up an event magazine and look out for all the free events.

Bonus Rule #11: Stop keeping up with the Jonses. Just because Singapore has a ton of fab hipster cafes, brand name restaurants, killer sports cars and shiny new electronic gadgets launching every week doesn’t mean you should buy them all. Your wages will never keep up with all this stuff.

 

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madmonk

I am a satirical writer. I offend. And I urge you not to take me too seriously.

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