Letter contributed by reader who wants to be known as ‘You Zhao Sai’.
Bukit Batok People’s Action Party (PAP) MP David Ong resigned last week after admitting to a personal indiscretion – aka he cheated on his wife. This is not the first case of infidelity among our politicians. In 2012, Workers’ Party (WP) MP Yaw Shin Leong – who was MP of the constituency of Hougang – was expelled by the WP after news of his extramarital affair broke out. In the same year, PAP MP Michael Palmer, who was also Speaker of the House in the Parliament of Singapore resigned after it was revealed that he had been having an extramarital affair. For both PAP MPs, it seemed like they were very quickly asked to step down by the party.
While I can’t speak for all the men and women who have cheated, I have, regrettably, cheated on girlfriends, and have been cheated on before. I also have some very successful (in the traditional sense) friends who cheat on their wives and husbands. So while I’m no doctor or marriage counsellor, I have some form of insight in the matter based on my experiences.
Why do people cheat? Here are some reasons I’ve heard of.
“He cheated first!” Classic case of tit for tat (tee hee). I’ve heard of women who cheat because their partners cheated on them first. I’ve even heard of cases where the woman who was cheated on, in an attempt to one-up her partner, cheated on him with someone of the same sex. Apply cold water to burned area.
Loss of Attraction
I’ve heard of BOTH men and women who are no longer physically attracted to their spouses because their partners let themselves go. This sounds terrible but unfortunately, it happens. Moral of this story, please maintain.
When men become successful and powerful (nice car, nice house, great spending power), an interesting phenomenon occurs – Women start throwing themselves at rich and powerful men. Suddenly they realise they’ve been upgraded from Armpit to Brad Pitt. Suddenly these men have an army of women descending upon them like aunties at an OG sale. When they’re suddenly being presented with a choice selection of women, it takes a lot of discipline and willpower to stop them from straying. The same could be said for successful women.
Or rather, the lack of it. Simply put, the love is weak in this one. Sometimes people just fall out of love with each other. They could have been clouded by emotions at the beginning when they got married and eventually as time goes by, they realised that they didn’t know each other as well as they thought they did. The marriage slowly loses the love and when temptation appears, that’s when someone cheats.
On the other hand, some people just meet the love of their lives later on in life, after mistakenly marrying the not so love of their lives first. In this case, who can blame them for pursuing true love?