5 Completely Normal Things Singaporeans Do That Terrify Foreigners

Every country has its quirks.

Americans put cheese on everything.

The British willingly queue in the rain.

Australians treat animals capable of killing them as part of the scenery.

But Singapore has quietly developed its own collection of behaviours that we consider perfectly ordinary... until you try explaining them to someone from overseas.

𝟏. 𝐖𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐏𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀 $𝟏 𝐏𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞

Imagine introducing the concept of "chope" to a tourist.

"See that empty table?"

"Yes."

"It's occupied."

"I don't see anyone."

"They've left a packet of tissue."

"So...?"

"So now it belongs to them."

Most countries require locks, fences, chains or at least an actual human being to reserve public space.

We use two-ply tissue, our ID cards...and for the truly wealthy, an iPhone.

𝟐. 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 $𝟏𝟎𝟎,𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐎𝐧 𝐀 𝐂𝐚𝐫 𝐈𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞

Tell someone overseas that a family sedan can cost well into six figures and they'll assume you're buying a Ferrari.

Nope.

It's just a Toyota.

Yet the same Singaporean who signs a loan for a $180,000 car will spend every effort to evade paying for parking.

𝟑. 𝐖𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐮𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧

Nobody actually asks how much you earn.

We simply make assumptions based on where we see you.

Queueing at NTUC?

Ok lah.

Queueing at Don Don Donki?

So-so only.

Camping overnight for an iPhone or Omega X Swatch?

Wah seh....orang kaya siol...

𝟒. 𝐖𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐢𝐫-𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐬 𝐀 𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Singaporeans don't merely enjoy air-conditioning.

We organise our lives around it.

Shopping malls.

Libraries.

Office lobbies.

MRT stations.

Maybe in the future even hawker centers need to be aircon.

Many of us have unknowingly planned walking routes based on which ones involve the least exposure to actual weather.

If a place isn't air-conditioned, we don't politely describe it as "a little warm."

We simply declare: "Cannot."

𝟓. 𝐖𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐀𝐧 𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝

English has hundreds of thousands of words.

Singapore looked at all of them and decided one would do.

Can?

Can.

Can lah.

Can meh.

Can hor.

Can one.

Can is can.

Caaaa---eeeeahhhn. (the sound which suggests 'i'm not sure')

With nothing more than tone, timing and a handful of sentence endings, we've somehow created a communication system capable of expressing agreement, doubt, encouragement, disbelief, sarcasm and existential disappointment.

Congratulations.

You now understand approximately 40% of conversational Singaporean.

𝐶𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑎𝑛, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒.